Is there anybody out there?

This is the post excerpt.

Dear Diary. 19.8.23

I've come to the conclusion that my ability to write on here is severely impeded by my mood. I find it really hard to communicate with you all when I'm not feeling good in my head. I don't know why this is but I'm finding that I get ever increasingly more inward the more depressed...

Dear Diary. 31.7.23

Good morning my fellow humans. Well, what can I say about the last few days... Things are tense at work, mainly because I know what my managers planning and I'm not supposed to. Meaning I'm biting my tongue all the time and itching to say something to her, but I can't. My counterpart still thinks...

Dear Diary. 26.7.23

so.... Tonight I'm a little pissed. In more ways than one. Firstly. I've had 3 cans of strongbow dark fruits so I'm a little sqiffy. Secondly because I've just found out that my manager would have me move to part time hours, if she had her way. let me explain... I was talking to my...

Dear Diary. 24.7.23

Where has this year gone? We're almost in August, summer is marching on. Not that we've seen much of it here in the UK, its rainy most of the last month. Soon it will be Bb2s birthday and that always signifies to me the end of summer and the start of the long, cold months...

Dear Diary. 21.7.23

Its been a long week, and I've still got 1 more day to work before I get a much needed break for 2 days. The life of a charity shop assistant manager isn't a bad one. The hours are predictable and reliable and the work is good but I'm new in post in an already...

Dear Diary. 18.7.23

I've woke up in a really funky mood. Not a good funk either. It's my only day off this week and I wake up like this! My house is a total mess. The bears will be late for school if I don't get a move on and I have a meeting with bb3s school this...

Dear Diary. 16.7.23

Sorry I've not wrote in a few days. It's been manic at work and at home. The Bears are all okay but they're hard work at the moment! I don't know if it's my BPD playing up or if it's just their lifestages but I find the 2 youngest bears so very hard to cope...

Dear Diary. 12.7.23

What a day today has been. First off the Bears 3 and 4 have been fighting with each other since the moment they woke up and I feel like a referee for a WWE match. They made me late setting off to work and that kinda set up my day from there. Work was good...

Dear Diary. 11.7.23

Well, where should I start... It's been a long, but ever so short 3 years since I last delved into blogging, as anyone who follows me will know. So many things have changed. I've completed my degree in Business management with entrepreneurship and gained a 2:1, which I'm so very proud of. I'm now working...

Dear diary. 10/7/23

Dear diary. it's been over 3 years since I last posted. So much has changed but then again, so much has stayed the same. The Bears are all ok. I'm doing good in many ways too. I can't wait to get back into writing so I can tell you all about it. have a fantastic...

4/3/20

Dear Diary Ive woken up slightly less scatty today than yesterday, which is a good thing for sure. It took me hours to drag my head out from up my a&^e yesterday and it didnt feel good at all. I dont know whats been wrong with me the last week, I just seem so apathetic...

3/3/20

Dear Diary I woke up really early this morning and I feel really antsy to go with it. My brain is buzzing with uni work and I cant calm it down enough to focus on doing anything constructive. I hate days like this. I wake up with so much energy but no motivation and generally...

Hazy days

written in response to #YDWP. A long time ago I was a different person to that you see today. I was young and wild and careless with my life and those I cared about. I never thought about the tomorrows that were to come or the days id left behind, everything was about the here...

2/3/20

Dear Diary Its been a lovely weekend with my mini bear, shes such an adorable little thing and so well behaved. Baby bear dropped her off on saturday afternoon and she never stopped smiling the whole time she was here. The kids have loved having her here to play with and I have loved seeing...

28/2/20

Dear Diary I dont know whats wrong with me today but Ive woken up in an odd kind of mood. I don't know quite how I feel or what I want, but I feel on edge like something bads going to happen. Nothings likely to or even expected to but it just feels that way...

Insomnia

written in response to #tale weaver. #MLMM Living life in a hazecant say how many daysor even how many ways Ive tried to sleep Life is thrown at me in bouldersmy friends grow colder shoulderedI feel im growing olderYou sow what you reap Its been so many a nightthat ive had to fightto turn off...

27/2/20

Dear Diary This last few weeks have been tough to handle. Yeah weve had a good time being away but the undertones of the normal life stresses never really leave you even when your on holiday and it spoilt it a little. Bears been working like a dog for the last three months to try...

26/2/20

Dear Diary Reality bites hard! Bears gone back to work this morning and we're now all back to the usual 5 am routine of getting up and starting the day at such an ungodly hour! I don't mind it too much really, if I'm truly honest. Yeah its nice to have a lie in now...

Life

Written in response to #randomness inked, #let it bleed Life Life, is it all for real?How does it make you feel?Do you, like me, sit and wait to seewhat the next problem will be Life, do you know the score?or like me, do you not care anymoreDo you, like I, sit alone and cryNever really...

25/2/20

Dear Diary Our holidays are over and its time to drag ourselves back to reality. The baby bears are back at school today and Im back at uni too, Bear has one last day off then hes back at work too. Reality bites. We had such a lovely time away at YHA Boggle Hole. We...

17/2/20

Dear diary A 3 hour lie in on our first day of Bears week off! Now that's what I call relaxing. Only problem is I'm 3 hours late taking my meds and I've woke up shaking with awful tremors in my hands. I'm assuming that its withdrawal symptoms. Today brings an odd mix of uni...

15/2/20

Dear Diary Im so beyond sick of this now its unreal! Why cant I get control of this bloody sleepiness I have all the time? I thought Id been doing really well lately but low and behold last night it popped back up as soon as Id finished my tea and I fell asleep in...

14/2/20

Dear Diary I dont know what to say about today! Its supposed to be a day filled with love and happiness, a day to show your partner how much you love them and to spoil them a bit but not in my house. In my house valentines day has always been a tricky one for...

13/2/20

Its 23 years ago tomorrow, since I had my first child and I can't help but be sad at the way our relationship has worked out. I miss my firstborn dearly but have to protect myself and the baby bears from her wild mental health issues. My feelings and wants are not as important as...

I am a riddle.

written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC, #FFE, #RDP I am a riddle, wrapped in an enigma and the crux of it is that I don't know who I am anymore!They say birds of a feather flock together but if that was truly the case I wouldn't be alone all of the time, floundering around,...

An open flower – a haiku

written in response to #MLMM, Heeding Haiku. An open flowerNothing but a single stemIts all I have left

12/2/20

Dear diary When the weathers bad, my mood follows! Why cant we have springtime already? Im so sick of the cold and the darkness now its untrue. and its seriously effecting how my brain works. I noticed the other day. We had a day of sunshine for a change and it felt like a spring...

A Battle Began

Written in response to #WOTD, #Let it Bleed A battle began inside of meSuch a long, long time agoThe battles never left meNo matter how I grow I've aged in time and wisdomBut as yet I am still boundThe battle rages on insideNo peace for me is found I am at peace in natureBut I...

11/2/20

Dear Diary What a horrible nights sleep to go with the horrid storms we are having at the moment. If I didn't live in a 3 story house with a wooden roof extension I wouldn't be too worried but I'm scared to death that the whole thing is going to detach and fly off into...

10/2/20

Dear Diary Im lost today. I dont know wether its tiredness or apathy but its sapping all the energy out of me and all I want to do is sleep. So many huge, great things are on the horizon for us and all I can think about is how afraid I am that it will...