Nothingness.

I stare at the screen in the hopes that something will come to me but nothing does, the medication has killed me. I have no creativity left. Nothing stirs in my brain, the neurons dulled by the high doses of anti depressants and morphine till nothing fires right anymore and I am lost once again.I... Continue Reading →

Its sad.

written in response to #WOTD, #FOWC & #Daily Addictions. Its sad, watching someone throw their life away because they cant keep themselves on an even keel with their mental health or their life in general. You keep hoping that one day they will awake and realise what a catastrophic mess they are making of everything... Continue Reading →

Motherhood!

Why do children get up so early in the morning? It doesn't matter what time I put them to bed, you can guarantee that by six am they are both down and ganging up on me. This morning is no exception, they are both up and fighting already. I don't understand why they cant just... Continue Reading →

5/10/19

Dear diary. The weekends been as big a wash out as the weather's been! Bear has spent all friday and Saturday night out at friends leaving me sat by myself for two nights straight and this evenings going to be much the same I think. Bears youngest is coming for tea today and the kids... Continue Reading →

Should I just quit??

I dont know if I should do this anymore. I started writing because it helped centre my thoughts, it was good therapy. But now I'm lost with it all. I've lost my capacity to write anything worth reading and I'm becoming disappointed with myself on an almost daily basis. My family dont support my writing... Continue Reading →

An open rhyme.

Written in response to #YDWP & #WotD daily challenges. Untitled... You’re contentious and dissentious Pretentious, not conscientious Abstentious and dissentious You’ve made yourself this way, you see. You’re relentless, I defenceless It’s all momentous and tremendous How stupendous and horrendous does This situation have to be? You sit and lecture and gesture Whilst I sit... Continue Reading →

13/8/19.

Dear diary. I need to snap out of this funk I'm in, it's no good! I'm sick of feeling shitty about myself and everything about me and I'm sick of not being able to put my mind to anything. I just want to get on with stuff but I seem mired in thought and completely... Continue Reading →

A Bad Day!

Over on Fandango’s One-Word Challenge today the word of the day is Inconspicuous. I hope you like my entry. A Bad Day. I wish I could disappear Melt into a hole in the floor I wish I could shy away Not be noticed anymore I wish I were inconspicuous I wish I could disappear Hide... Continue Reading →

That Chip.

Word of the Day Challenge. 6/8/19. Hope you enjoy the poem folks. Dont forget to head over to the challenge page and check out the other entries. Happy reading. xx That Chip. There’s a chip upon your shoulder, The likes none have ever seen. There’s a chip upon your shoulder, And it’s making you quite... Continue Reading →

An Open Letter.

I lost a huge piece of my heart when you went away,, as I expect you did too but what must be must be in order for us all to grow. You've talked about losing toxic people from your life, as have I and this is exactly what has happened and what has had to... Continue Reading →

The world I live in.

Fandango’s Provocative Question #34. 5/8/19. Good morning everyone and welcome to another monday with me. Today's first post is in response to Fandangos Provocative question. Hope you enjoy reading and don't forget to follow the links and check out everyone elses entries too. What are the three biggest challenges your country (or, if you prefer, the... Continue Reading →

Rant!

I've not been so good lately. The new anti-depressants make me exhausted by tea time and I'm falling asleep by eight; I don't even remember going to bed, I'm that tired. I literally feel like half my life has been taken from me because my evenings are being stolen by sleep. Bear works and doesn't... Continue Reading →

Q = QUEER

Q = QUEER. LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 17/7/19 I was called Queer the other day and I actually felt pretty mad about it. My best friend and I were at the park with BB3 and BB4, they were happily playing on the swings and my friend and I were sat on the benches. It... Continue Reading →

N = NOBODY.

N = NOBODY. LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 14/7/19 A Poem about having nobody. No one but me from eight till half 3. No bear, no bears nobody to see no one but me from eight till half three OK, so I shouldn't be on my own, especially when I'm having a bad day. My... Continue Reading →

H = HELP.

LillBlu’s A to Z challenge, YOUR DAILY WORD PROMPT & Word of the Day Challenge. 8/7/19. BEHOLD & BUCOLIC. Have you ever wanted or needed help badly but not been able to get it? How do you cope on your own when all you're screaming out for is some support but aren't able to make... Continue Reading →

FED UP!

I need help!   Being a housewife is easy, if you’ve ever been taught the skills. Being a cook, cleaner, maid, laundry assistant, handyman and nanny is easy if you know how. Running a house is simple, if you have a clean slate and proper routines right from the start. Running a family isn’t hard... Continue Reading →

An ‘Over the Pond’ Perspective.

Fandango’s Provocative Question #28 “Do you believe that Donald Trump is an effective American president who should remain in office despite having accepted aid from a foreign adversary (Russia) and having committed obstruction of justice into the investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 Presidential elections? Do you believe that Trump should or should not... Continue Reading →

A day in the life of EUPD Me!

Your Daily Word Prompt. 24/6/19. CONTROL. It's been a bad few days for me because, like the fool I am, I forgot to take my meds on Saturday. (Hence no posts over the weekend) This has spun my head into its previous cycle of self-loathing and I don't know which way up is at the... Continue Reading →

Why do I keep falling for it?

Your Daily Word Prompt & Word of the Day Challenge. 16/6/19. INSINCERE & SHINE INSINCERE & SHINE Insincere people shine like a beacon to me, most of the time. I can usually smell their bull when they enter a room but there are those rare few that completely bowls me over and suck me in;... Continue Reading →

Some days!

Some days you just can't win no matter what you do. My neighbours hate me for stuff I haven't even done to them. My older kids only want me when they want or need something; they spend more time falling out with me than not. My little kids won't do anything I ask of them,... Continue Reading →

No More!

Your Daily Word Prompt &Word of the Day Challenge. 14/6/19. QUANDARY & SAFE. QUANDARY & SAFE. Life is a quandary; don't you think? Just when I think I have things figured out, something comes along and throws a spanner in the works and I'm back to being the same confused little girl I always revert... Continue Reading →

This woman!

Your Daily Word Prompt & Word of the Day Challenge. 13/6/19. INSIDIOUS & TEMPT INSIDIOUS & TEMPT I’ve lived in this house, this time around, for the last six years. We originally moved into the house in 1996 when my grandmother died and left the house to mum. I moved out again midway through 1997.... Continue Reading →

The battle.

Life isn't meant to be this complicated or difficult is it? When does it start to slow off a little? When do I get to have a little ease for a while? I feel like I'm fighting all the time. My body has been failing me for as long as I can remember and my... Continue Reading →

2 minutes of your time.

That's all it would take to let someone know that you're ok. That's all it would take to stop someone's heart and mind racing, searching for answers and hoping you're alive. Just 2 little minutes, less time than it takes to use the loo or make a coffee. That's all it would need to stave... Continue Reading →

RANT! Sorry!

If you want me in your life, fine. Make me a part of your life, im all for it. However if you want me in your life to make you feel good about yourself then don't bother. I don't play games. I don't stroke egos. I say shit exactly as I see it and I... Continue Reading →

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