Regrets, I’ve had a few

Written in response to #YDWP, #WotD, #FOWC. 6/9/19. Regrets, I’ve had a few When I was fourteen years old my life was a complete shambles. I was in and out of the care system, hated my mother and siblings and was completely off the rails with regard to behavior and schooling but I didn't care.... Continue Reading →

The Flight of Dragons.

written in response to #YDWP, #WotD & FOWC challenges. 30/8/19. The year after I was born my mother bought a VHS cassette tape to play for me, to keep me occupied whilst she was at the hospital visiting my newly born and severely premature little brother. I was left at my grandmothers with this tape... Continue Reading →

Morals, Mother & God!

Written in response to, and containing the following prompts: FPQ; Do you believe that one can be moral without believing in God or being religious, or do you believe that you must believe in God in order to have a moral compass and to live a moral life? YDWP; Delimited and The Daily Spur Photo... Continue Reading →

V = VALUE

V = VALUE. LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 22/7/19 Never underestimate the value of those in your life, for whatever reason they are there; for when they are gone, the world is a very empty place. As the track of my mental health progresses I have isolated myself from people in order to protect them... Continue Reading →

S = STUDY

S = STUDY. LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 20/7/19 I love being a student. Since leaving school, which I hated, all I have done with my life is raise children and study. I've been a brick layer and builder, a painter and jewellery maker. I've trained as and been an administrator and mentor, tutor and... Continue Reading →

Satisfaction at last!

Weekly Prompts - Photo Challenge - Satisfaction Five years ago I wasn't just a different person on the inside, so much so that people I knew back then don't recognize me if I see them nowadays. I have always struggled with my weight; always been on the heavier side of the fence and always fought... Continue Reading →

P = PARANOIA

P = PARANOIA. LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 16/7/19 Paranoia is terrifying. I have suffered with it to varying degrees for the majority of my adult life and only recently, with my EUPD diagnosis, have I come to understand it a little better. My whole life I have just assumed that everyone thought the way... Continue Reading →

M = ME and MYSELF.

LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 13/7/19 Me and myself Me and myself, we don’t get along, We argue all of the time. When decisions are made and we’ve had time to think, I feel like I’ve committed a crime. Happy me has everything running smooth, Until once again I get drowned. Then I come along... Continue Reading →

L = LOSS.

LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 12/7/19 I was never sheltered from death and loss as a child. I knew it happened to everyone a some point but as a child you don't really understand what that means until it happens to you; and it happened to me a lot over the years. My first experience... Continue Reading →

F = FATHER.

F = FATHER. . LillBlu’s A to Z challenge 6/7/19 For the first thirteen years of my life I grew up believing my father to be a man called Dave. Mum had introduced me to him a few times when I was small, I remember him being a vague presence but never one I had... Continue Reading →

E = EUPD.

LillBlu’s A to Z challenge. Your Daily Word Prompt. Word of the Day Challenge. 5/7/19. Emotionally incontinent, that's me! I can't go a day without breaking down and crying over the merest thing, the world shies away from me because of it and my life becomes an Eternity of loneliness. People I once called my best friends... Continue Reading →

Morning Beauty.

Flower of the Day (FOTD) Challenge. 4/7/19. Shirley's Rose. This rose has stood sentry at the front door to this house for twenty-two years. It was planted by myself and mum in commemoration of Shirley, my beloved grandmother, who owned the house from it being built. Every time it flowers it reminds me of the... Continue Reading →

B=BRAZY_CITCH.

B = BRAZY_CITCH. LillBlu’s A to Z challenge. 2/7/19 Ten years ago, I met and married my then-husband, Nucking Futter. When we first met we both had a love of online chatrooms, MSN, Yahoo and CamFrog to name but a few; in fact, it is via this medium that we ever got introduced. A long... Continue Reading →

A Confession.

Word of the Day Challenge. 18/6/19. DEAL. A Confession. So today I'm feeling a little nostalgic (this is my second post about my past) and so I thought I would give you a little insight into the person I used to be; the one that helped shape me into the person I am today. Looking... Continue Reading →

The Bench.

The SPF Challenge. 9/6/19. THE BENCH. The SPF Challenge The Bench   As she looked out across the dreary courtyard at the bench they once shared together on brighter days, tears filled her eyes and fell in puddles around her feet; much like the rain outside. ‘Our Spot.’ She sobbed, ‘We were supposed to be... Continue Reading →

Provocative Question #25

Fandango’s Provocative Question #25 “Where do you believe you were you before you were born and what do you believe will happen to you after you die?”   I used to believe in God. I went to a variety of churches as a child. Evangelical, Roman Catholic and Church of England, and tried to be good... Continue Reading →

Difficult.

Difficult. Daily word prompt. 1/6/19.   Difficult! That's me! I am a difficult person to understand, get along with and love. I've had a difficult life and I don't expect it will get any easier as time goes on because I make things difficult for myself without even trying; simply by being me!  It's difficult, trying... Continue Reading →

Who am I?

Silence. Daily word prompt. 28/5/19   My life has been lived in relative silence, She and I are old friends. Below is a paper I wrote for an intercultural communication assignment I was set this past term at university; and the best way I can think of to explain my affinity with the word Silence.... Continue Reading →

Questions.

Nostalgic. Daily word prompt. 26/5/19   Bit of nostalgia for today's post... I wrote this at roughly the same time (18 years ago) as the previous poem I posted but again, it could have been written yesterday. I still think and feel the same, trapped in the never ending cycle that is my existence. Questions.... Continue Reading →

Memories.

Vague. Daily word prompt. 23/5/19.   I have a only a vague recollection of being a child. Memories are like photographs, simple stills that my mind has chosen to freeze in time; no context or storyline to help me understand why I remember what I do. No timeline of events to guide my thinking or... Continue Reading →

I miss the old Me.

Fervent. Daily word prompt 20/5/19   Adjective: Fervent Having or displaying a passionate intensity "a fervent supporter of the cause" Once upon a time I fought for what I thought was right. First on the lines of a march or protest, always ready to stand for the rights of the 'little man.' I was never... Continue Reading →

Defeated

What is the point in living, if we all know we're going to die? Why does new life make us happy? Why does death make us cry? Why do wake up in the morning, just to go back to bed at night? Why do we work to earn our money, just to save it out... Continue Reading →

I’m still here!

So much has happened in the last year and a bit, it's hard to know where to start. 16 months have past since my last post and I feel like I've just woke from a dream of a life I'll never have. I didn't stay single too long! (Its a problem, I know!) I had... Continue Reading →

Yay

I feel so ill. I know it's just a cold but it's a good one, and the first one as a single parent. The kids have it too but where as I'm ready to crawl back into bed and cry myself to sleep, they just want to nag and whine and fight. 2018 is already... Continue Reading →

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