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Is there anybody out there?

This is the post excerpt.

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Life’s hard.

You don’t realise how hard until it smacks you in the face, leaving you questioning everything.

I’m just one person, trying so very hard to make sense of life.

Im a mum.

I’m random.

I’m depressed.

I’m a lover not a fighter.

I’m me.

#wereallmadhere

Welcome to my crazy, sad, mad world.

Song Lyric Sunday. 9/6/19. LOVE.

For this week’s Song Lyric Sunday, Jim Adams is gettin’ jiggy with us.

His theme is Desire, Lust, Romance, and Passion.

My all time favourite love song is Adele, Make you feel my love. I sing it, a lot.

To my kids, to my fella, to myself in the car. I really do love this song, hope you do too.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
Oh, I hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I will never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I’d go hungry; I’d go black and blue
And I’d go crawling down the avenue
No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of this Earth for you
To make you feel my love, oh yes
To make you feel my love

Hope you enjoyed today’s challenge. Don’t forget to follow the link word/title back to the original post and enjoy other peoples entries too.
Don’t forget to leave me a comment below; Its good to talk.

 

#LillBlu1981

#brazycitch1981

#depression

#anxiety

#BPD

#EUPD

#ThisGirlCan

#YouAreNotAloneInThis
Come along to my page and check out my other posts. Everyone’s welcome.

Your Daily Word Prompt & Word of the Day Challenge. 16/6/19. INSINCERE & SHINE

INSINCERE & SHINE

Insincere people shine like a beacon to me, most of the time. I can usually smell their bull when they enter a room but there are those rare few that completely bowls me over and suck me in; usually, they are the ones closest to me, the ones who’s actions affect me the most.

Twice in the last year, it has happened. Twice!

Baby bear no 2 was the first. She moved out abruptly when she had her daughter because we fell out over her and her boyfriend lying to me for months on end. They had been telling me they intended to live with us for at least a year, allowing me to spend money on a nursery that was never going to be used and plan a future that was never going to happen. It caused my most recent breakdown and I’m still trying to recover from it and attempt to rebuild my relationship with BB2.

The second was only yesterday. The fella and I have been planning a project for months. It’s not a project I’m into, its solely to make him happy but I was behind it 100%, for him. He’s said a few times about issues we may have with it that could mean we couldn’t go ahead but he’s never once said he didn’t want to do it anymore until yesterday when he started an argument out of the blue over it. There was no need for an argument at all, he only needed to say and I would have been behind him with it, it’s not like I wanted to do it anyways, it was all for him!

Why do people feel the need to hide the truth from me and be deceitful, insincere?

Why do I keep getting sucked into believing a certain pathway only to be disappointed in the end?

Answers in the comments box please, I need help with this one!

 

 

Hope you enjoyed today’s challenge. Don’t forget to follow the link word/title back to the original post and enjoy other peoples entries too.

Don’t forget to leave me a comment below; Its good to talk.

#LillBlu1981

#brazycitch1981

#depression

#anxiety

#BPD

#EUPD

#ThisGirlCan

#YouAreNotAloneInThis

Come along to my page and check out my other posts. Everyone’s welcome.

Sunday Photo Fiction. 16/6/19.

The challenge is to write a story using 200 words or less based, on the photo.

lakshmi-bhat-

John ran through the thick forest as fast as his legs would move him. He feared for his life as he dodged roots that sprang up to trip him and thorns that clawed at his legs, scratching and tearing at his jeans and the delicate skin below.
He was bleeding heavily now and starting to feel the effects of rapid blood loss. Wounds, large and small, peppered his body; not an inch had been spared in the beating he’d taken and the subsequent chase. His enemy a far stronger foe than he would ever hope to be.
With his energy waning and strength flowing from him with blood loss, John knew he didn’t have much time left. The wound on his head no longer hurt but the blood pouring in his eyes made it impossible to see where he was going at times and he stumbled.
Clumsily he regained his balance, just as he saw his attacker in the trees; not a hundred feet away. John regained his feet and ran as fast as he could. He dug deep for every ounce of strength he could find and set off at a sprint, straight into the spikes of a tree!

 

Hope you enjoyed today’s challenge. Don’t forget to follow the link word/title back to the original post and enjoy other peoples entries too.
Don’t forget to leave me a comment below; Its good to talk.

#LillBlu1981

#brazycitch1981

#depression

#anxiety

#BPD

#EUPD

#ThisGirlCan

#YouAreNotAloneInThis
Come along to my page and check out my other posts. Everyone’s welcome.

Some days!

Some days you just can’t win no matter what you do.

My neighbours hate me for stuff I haven’t even done to them.

My older kids only want me when they want or need something; they spend more time falling out with me than not.

My little kids won’t do anything I ask of them, no amount of reward charts and consequences seem to make a difference.

My mother can’t be bothered with any of us since she bailed and moved to Spain 8 years ago; the only time I hear from her is if the rent is due.

And my fella, well, I can’t work out what he wants from me. I thought we were planning the future a certain way but hes now decided that’s a bad idea.

He’s just started an argument with me over exactly all the things I’ve just stated; everyone hating me and I honestly think he doesn’t want to be with me because of them.

It’s all too much hassle and bother for him; too much hard work. He wants a quiet, orderly life where nothing goes wrong and theres no drama. He doesn’t want this and unfortunately for me ‘this’ is my life; ergo, he doesn’t want me.

How long have I got left?

Your Daily Word Prompt &Word of the Day Challenge. 14/6/19. QUANDARY & SAFE.

QUANDARY & SAFE.

Life is a quandary; don’t you think?

Just when I think I have things figured out, something comes along and throws a spanner in the works and I’m back to being the same confused little girl I always revert to; hiding under the bed away from the monsters, trying to stay safe.

Well no more!

I’m too old and too fragile to keep putting myself through the same sh!t day in, day out. I have medication now and hopefully in the not too distant future, I will have access to therapy too. I have a loving and supportive (as much as he can be) boyfriend who is willing to put up with me. The kids are doing ok. Uni is going ok. Things are good.

So I’m not going to allow anything to spoil that; including me!

Anyone know how? Haha!

 

Hope you enjoyed today’s challenge. Don’t forget to follow the link word/title back to the original post and enjoy other peoples entries too.
Don’t forget to leave me a comment below; Its good to talk.

 

#LillBlu1981

#brazycitch1981

#depression

#anxiety

#BPD

#EUPD

#ThisGirlCan

#YouAreNotAloneInThis
Come along to my page and check out my other posts. Everyone’s welcome.

Friendly Friday Photo Challenge. 14/6/19. SHADOW.

SHADOW.

20190614_110639

The shadow dance across your face has me spellbound,

every line, every crease, every perfect flaw, all mine.

Watching you sit, king of the flames, lord of my heart, astounds

my minds to think that I wake each day, and you’re mine.

You are my idea of perfection, my knight in a Toyota steed,

You’re all I’ve ever wanted, ever longed for and you’re mine.

I’ll never want another, nor will there ever become any need,

To look beyond what I already have, because its all already mine.

I Love You Baby. xx

 

Hope you enjoyed today’s challenge. Don’t forget to follow the link word/title back to the original post and enjoy other peoples entries too.
Don’t forget to leave me a comment below; Its good to talk.

 

#LillBlu1981

#brazycitch1981

#depression

#anxiety

#BPD

#EUPD

#ThisGirlCan

#YouAreNotAloneInThis
Come along to my page and check out my other posts. Everyone’s welcome.

First Line Fridays. 14/6/19. STARDATE.

RULES– Pick up your closest book and post the first word. It’s that simple.

 

Let’s all share what we are reading today. For me… Live long and prosper my friends.

 

STARDATE.

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Star Trek Khan by IDW Publishing

 

If you’re not a Trekky, I recommend at least one attempt at being one.

What have you got to lose?

 

Hope you enjoyed today’s challenge. Don’t forget to follow the link word/title back to the original post and enjoy other peoples entries too.
Don’t forget to leave me a comment below; Its good to talk.

#LillBlu1981

#brazycitch1981

#depression

#anxiety

#BPD

#EUPD

#ThisGirlCan

#YouAreNotAloneInThis

 
Come along to my page and check out my other posts. Everyone’s welcome.