I am a riddle.

written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC, #FFE, #RDP I am a riddle, wrapped in an enigma and the crux of it is that I don't know who I am anymore!They say birds of a feather flock together but if that was truly the case I wouldn't be alone all of the time, floundering around,... Continue Reading →

I don’t, I can’t, I won’t!

written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions. Making the decision to cut someone toxic out of your life should be an easy decision to make, but not when its your first born child its not! Its one of the hardest choices Ive ever had to make and goes against everything I believe about... Continue Reading →

The conversation I never got to have.

Written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions, #MLMM Sunday writing prompt. When my Lee died I had no one to offer me advice, my own Grandmother passing when I were fourteen years old, leaving me with no grandparents at all. This is a conversation I would have loved to have been able to... Continue Reading →

Photo series.

Over on #MLMM the task today is to utilise the original image provided in some form of creative form.  original image by Araki Photograph Studio My entries This is an old photo series I created for an art project on domestic violence. All of the original images were taken using a flatbed scanner only.

Nothingness.

I stare at the screen in the hopes that something will come to me but nothing does, the medication has killed me. I have no creativity left. Nothing stirs in my brain, the neurons dulled by the high doses of anti depressants and morphine till nothing fires right anymore and I am lost once again.I... Continue Reading →

New year, New hair colour!

Ok, so its no surprise that Ive changed my hair colour again; I do it regularly! But I had to share because this is a bold choice even for me and Im not sure the vividity suits me. I know you all will be honest. electric blue and toxic green

Am I a writer?

written in response to #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions. As I write more and more I discover new things about myself, new wonders that I never realised I could achieve.I never thought of myself as a writer before but how can I not be? I write almost every day and have penned many short stories and... Continue Reading →

Don’t follow me.

written in response to #FOWC. 17/12/19 Don't follow me on this road I take. Walk besides me and take my hand, guide me, for I know not where I go. Don't follow me down this lonely road. Light my way and guide me when I am lost, for this will be a lot of the... Continue Reading →

Longing

written in response to #WOTD, #FOWC, Daily Addictions, 16/12/19 The dark washes over me daily and I have to fight to find the light, multiple times a day.I don't always win my battles but the war is still in my favor, for now, and I soldier on, despite my many wounds.I long for a dawn... Continue Reading →

Choices

written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions. 13/12/19. A belated attempt at writing today, my brain wont get moving and my minds gone astray.I need to oust the angst I feel as I sit here with my pen, and address the thoughts and feelings that speed in and out again.My head is full... Continue Reading →

In the twilight hours.

Written in response to #WOTD, 6/12/19 In the twilight hours I wake from fitful sleepto an emptiness that never leaves me. It pervades my waking hours and saps my strength from melike candy from a little childleaving me bereftwantinghoping for something more than this So I prey and I hopefor anythingsomethingbut all I ever find... Continue Reading →

Prayers.

Written in response to #YDWP, #WOTD, #Daily Addictions & #MLMM. I cup my hands and pray for better days and better ways, for a fixed heart and a mended head that is better able to incorporate all life throws my way, and not have a complete meltdown. I pray all the time, even though I... Continue Reading →

Predictions would be nice!

Written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC & #Daily Addictions I feel like I'm sat in the lobby of my life, just waiting for my bags to be brought down; but they never come. I feel like I'm surfing on the roughest seas, constantly paddling to try and stay afloat and not drown under the... Continue Reading →

I used to be…

Written in response to #WOTD & #YDWP I used to be quite loquacious when I were younger, a little too verbose some may have said but I always had something to say on any given subject. Nowadays I struggle to string two words together most days and my mind has a blankness only the heavily... Continue Reading →

Its sad.

written in response to #WOTD, #FOWC & #Daily Addictions. Its sad, watching someone throw their life away because they cant keep themselves on an even keel with their mental health or their life in general. You keep hoping that one day they will awake and realise what a catastrophic mess they are making of everything... Continue Reading →

TMI Revisited.

A while ago I wrote a post titled TMI, about my attendance at my annual smear test. Well, Ive had the results back and all is not as it should be! My results have come back that I have HPV, the virus that can cause cervical cancer and I am absolutely bricking it! I have... Continue Reading →

Does it?

Written in response to #YDWP & #FOWC. 1/11/19. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" Its a strange old adage and one that makes no sense to me at all. An occurrence doesn't make you stronger just because you have lived through it. I don't feel any stronger for having lived through the things I... Continue Reading →

Halloween bravery.

Its Halloween again and for me, and others like me, one of the worst times of the year.In some ways I love the celebration. I like the idea of trick or treating with the kids till gone bedtime, pumpkin carving and pumpkin pie. I love the dressing up and the fake blood. I love virtually... Continue Reading →

Motherhood!

Why do children get up so early in the morning? It doesn't matter what time I put them to bed, you can guarantee that by six am they are both down and ganging up on me. This morning is no exception, they are both up and fighting already. I don't understand why they cant just... Continue Reading →

Karma’s a bitch!

written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC & #Daily Addictions Karma's a bitch and when she comes for you I hope to have front row seats, its the least she can do for me!I'm not a vengeful person but karma, shes anything but innocuous in her dealings and I hope shes keeping something special in... Continue Reading →

Just holding it together.

Written in response to #Wotd, #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions. Today the voices are loud in my mind again. All the questions being asked in cacophony together, never easing up and I fear a return to the old days when my head ruled my life and near tore me apart. I know the mechanisms now tho,... Continue Reading →

I need to get a grip!

Written in response to #WotD, #YDWP & FOWC. My heart is like glass of late, one small knock and it would shatter into a million pieces. I feel weak and delicate, as if someone has stolen all of my strength and replaced it with nothing.Too many things have happened, the list goes on and on... Continue Reading →

Time to say goodbye.

Written in response to #YDWP & #WotD. 21/10/19. In three weeks time it will be the two year anniversary of the death of my Lee and not a day goes by where I dont think about the happy times we had together. We have been apart now longer than we ever were together but the... Continue Reading →

Home?

Written in response to #Daily Addiction. 16/10/19 A sadness has spread across me today and my home doesnt feel like my home any more as I pack up the last of her things. Its hard to believe that she is gone and will never again beam her broadest smile at me; never again melt my... Continue Reading →

What do you do?

Written in response to #WotD, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions and #tale weaver at #MLMM When the world gets too much and each day seems more insurmountable than the last, you know it's time to take a break, time to get away and chill what do you do? Me, I love to camp out in order to... Continue Reading →

A trip to the hospital

Written by guest writer BB3. Hello, my name is Baby Bear 3, LillBlu1981's only son. I am 8 years old.Mum has let me write a post for her blog and I wanted to write about the operation I had a few months ago. The reason I had an operation is because I was born with... Continue Reading →

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