I don’t, I can’t, I won’t!

written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions.

Making the decision to cut someone toxic out of your life should be an easy decision to make, but not when its your first born child its not! Its one of the hardest choices Ive ever had to make and goes against everything I believe about helping those in need.

My daughter is mentally ill, I should be the first one by her side but instead I am having to guard myself against someone for whom I have so much love. Things are very far from OK between us and her illness has created a monster whos fury is directed mainly at me and those I care about.

So no! Im not the first one championing her cause, by her side in all things, because everytime we have an exchange I get bitten. My eyes are now wide open and I choose to walk away.

I don’t know how you’ve the nerve
I don’t know how you dare
I don’t know how you carry on
I don’t know you even care

I cant approve your lifestyle
I cant approve the things you do
I cant approve your way of thinking
I cant approve of you!

I wont forgive you easily
I wont forgive the tears
I wont forgive the many lies, and
I wont forgive the many years.

4 thoughts on “I don’t, I can’t, I won’t!

Add yours

  1. It’s so hard to walk away from toxic possible but sometimes you just have to. I recently had to cut off some toxic people in my life and i now i am at peace. Its sad that its your daughter in this case…so sorry for you. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. this is such a sad post — I really feel for you and with you. I’ve a friend who’s mentally ill — but of course SHE’S NOT –there’s nothing wrong with her. It’s everybody else that’s playing mind games and messing with her head and she certainly doesn’t need medication. Doctors just want to lock you up and kill you or send you to la-la-land with their drugs.
    In other words, a classic case of paranoid schizophrenia. You can only spend so much time with that before you’re exhausted. And at least she isn’t directing her wrath at me. I’m not getting blamed as you are, except for not accepting “reality” (as she sees it).
    Like the wannabe rescuer of a drowning person, you’re very wise to distance yourself, or she’ll drag you down too. She must decide to break out of her prison — which means first identifying it as a prison. That’s usually the biggest hurdle.

    Liked by 1 person

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