When my Lee died I had no one to offer me advice, my own Grandmother passing when I were fourteen years old, leaving me with no grandparents at all. This is a conversation I would have loved to have been able to have with her and her support would have been invaluable.
“Oh Grandma, how do you cope? Im doing so badly and I just cant move on with my life without him.”
“It gets easier darling, eventually. The pain never truly leaves you but it does get easier with time. When I lost your Grandad those myriad years ago, I had nothing to mourn, no body to bury, just MIA and a letter from the MOD saying how sorry they were but all they could find was parts of the fire truck and hose, nothing of Grandad to be found. That made it really hard to accept but with time it sinks in my darling and you will mourn his passing, just as I did. I still have wistful days, even now.”
“I cant imagine how hard that was for you grandma, I really cant. Even tough I was there in his final moments, holding his hand until he took his final breath and the aweful wait till it was all over, even with all that I still cant believe its all real. Im still waiting for him to come through the door and tell me it was all just a big joke! I cant bare the thought of burying him, it just seems so wrong.”
“I felt the same way my love, I truly did. Every time the door knocked or the phone wrang, for such a long time, I waited and waited and prayed that they would find him safe somewhere but it never happened, and I finally had to accept that he was gone. I was twenty six the year I was widowed, with three young children to deal with, not to dissimilar t you right now. They became my focus and my rock. Your two will become the same for you but right now they will need you more than ever and you will need to be strong for them, the rest will come with time.”
“Oh Grandma. Its all such a mess and I miss him so much.”
“I know my darling, I know.”