31/1/20

dear diary. Im struggling like mad at the moment and I have no idea why.I feel like my life is about to implode on me and I just cant put my finger on the root cause of it all. The last two mornings I really havnt wanted to get out of bed, Ive been so... Continue Reading →

30/1/20

Dear diary. Didn't sleep well again last night and nearly missed the school run this morning as I fell back asleep. The day has just been one mad rush about so far trying to get the baby hears dressed and to school on time and myself off to my acupuncture appointment on time but I... Continue Reading →

29/1/20

dear diary Another terrible nights sleep for me! Im sure its hormonal but it doesn't help me none, im still waking up every few hours sweating like crazy and agitated. I cant wait for Bears long mission to be over now, hes doing another full weekend at work this week which means he will have... Continue Reading →

28/1/20

Dear diary Im tired today. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally too. I feel like I could just crawl back into bed and sleep for a week. I don't even know whats prompted it as I was fine last night, maybe just didn't sleep too well I guess. Todays classes include marketing and world... Continue Reading →

The conversation I never got to have.

Written in response to #WOTD, #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions, #MLMM Sunday writing prompt. When my Lee died I had no one to offer me advice, my own Grandmother passing when I were fourteen years old, leaving me with no grandparents at all. This is a conversation I would have loved to have been able to... Continue Reading →

27/1/20

Dear diary BB4 and MB had their birthday party yesterday and it was a great time had by all. MB turns one on thursday and BB is six today so a birthday tea with cake and jelly and balloons is just what the doctor ordered. It was so nice to have a family get together... Continue Reading →

25/1/20

Dear diary Well... my days off to a fantastic start! "Mum, mum, mum. Come quick, the toilets blocked!" Come on kids ffs! It's not even 7am and they're already wrecking the house. Some days I really hate being the one in charge around here. All the shit jobs always fall on me to do... quite... Continue Reading →

24/1/20

Dear diary What a horrid nights sleep. I kept waking up and always hurt each time. My back and legs are killing me and I can only assume it's the after effects of the acupuncture session I had yesterday. She went a little further with treatment this time and had the electrodes plugged into me... Continue Reading →

23/1/20

Dear diary. It's a funny old day today, nothing feels right. Bears not at work as he has a hospital appointment later this morning and so we've all had a lie in today instead of our usual 4.30am alarm calls. It feels odd tho as I'm tiptoeing about trying not to wake him before I... Continue Reading →

22/1/20

Dear Diary What a shocking nights sleep that turned out to be! I didnt wake much but I feel as if I've only slept for a few hours and had bad dreams for most of them, I feel rotten this morning and Bear seems to have had a similar night. Its a shame really as... Continue Reading →

Photo series.

Over on #MLMM the task today is to utilise the original image provided in some form of creative form.  original image by Araki Photograph Studio My entries This is an old photo series I created for an art project on domestic violence. All of the original images were taken using a flatbed scanner only.

21/1/20

Dear Diary. Well, yesterday was a complete bust! My car has a screw through the front passenger tyer and by the time I discovered it, it was almost flat; meaning I didn't get out at all yesterday, except for the school run. Ive got to risk driving it for the rest of the week mind... Continue Reading →

A fact of life!

written in response to #FPQ Over on Fandango's provocative question today the quandary posed is... What’s something you consider to be terrifying that you have come to accept as a fact of life?Fandango 20/1/20 As ive grown older there are many things that have terrified me at some point or another. When I were little... Continue Reading →

20/1/20

Dear diary. Sorry for my absence yesterday, I had a lie in for a change and decided to stay away from the blog for a day, to see if I could write any better on my return... I cant! But the break was nice all the same. Todays mission is to put the house back... Continue Reading →

Nothingness.

I stare at the screen in the hopes that something will come to me but nothing does, the medication has killed me. I have no creativity left. Nothing stirs in my brain, the neurons dulled by the high doses of anti depressants and morphine till nothing fires right anymore and I am lost once again.I... Continue Reading →

18/1/20

Dear diary. Saturday morning and I'm up at 5am because bears at work again! I hate this. Why cant we just be a normal family that spends weekends together and sleeps in ect... I shouldn't moan. I know why bears doing what hes doing, I know the master plan, it doesn't make it any easier... Continue Reading →

17/1/20

Dear diary. Ive woken up in pain this morning and Im sure its a side effect of the acupuncture I had yesterday. Two of the spots she stabbed me in set off muscle twitches down both legs and as a result I am suffering today from a severe case of muscle soreness in both of... Continue Reading →

16/1/20

Dear diary. I really need another appointment with my psychiatric nurse, I need to come off these damned antidepressants! Normally not something you would hear me say but these tablets cause so many side effects that I just cant live with any longer. Since I've been on them my whole life revolves around napping! I'm... Continue Reading →

Sweet Dreams

written in response to #MLMM, #Heading Haiku. Soft, clean, fresh beddingHuddled up, all snug and warmSweet dreams come to me.

15/1/20

Dear diary. I've woke up in a real odd mood. I dont know whether I'm coming or going this morning and I feel nervous for some unknown reason. I dont remember having a bad dream or anything but I'm twitchy as if I'd had one and I just dont understand. Maybe it's just a fluke... Continue Reading →

14/1/20

Dear diary Bear's starting to look really ill and I'm sure it's the amount of hours hes working. I am actually getting worried he will do himself some real damage if he isnt careful but there is an end in sight, we're nearly to the end of our goal and then we can all relax... Continue Reading →

13/1/20

Dear diary. Todays promising to be a good day all round, I'm babysitting for my granddaughter this morning and I cant wait. I'm going to spoil the little madam rotten!Family time is so precious to me, I dont get enough of it usually, today I intend to make the most of it. I just hope... Continue Reading →

12/1/20

Dear diary Bears gone to work again and I wont see him now till tea time, which sucks massively but not quite as much as the fact I forgot to take my meds last night and my legs are killing me this morning. I dont know how I manage to forget to take my meds.... Continue Reading →

Stand tall.

Written in response to #MLMM, Saturday Mix - Rhyme Time. Look Square in the face of dangerLook right back at fear and glareLook on tho everythings against youStand tall with your arms in the air Bare all that you are for judgementBare all that you are with flairBare your soul to all that know youStand... Continue Reading →

11/1/20

Dear diary Ugh! Didn't sleep well at all last night and have woke up emotional again. Bears just left for work and I sat and cried for 5 minutes when he left because I suddenly couldn't help but be sad. I'm fairly sure it's just left over stress from yesterdays exam but I am scared... Continue Reading →

10/1/20

Dear diary Well I can honestly say that acupuncture does nothing for me after yesterdays appointment. The only noticeable difference has been a dull ache at the site of a few of the needle pricks but nothing other than that which is a shame really as I'd hoped it would be beneficial. Today marks the... Continue Reading →

9/1/20

Dear diary Yesterdays exam went exactly as I expected it to... I know I've failed! I answered about a third of the questions and I'm sure I will have got most of them wrong. I'm never gunna complete this damned degree now 😣 My head is absolutely killing me this morning as I've done nothing... Continue Reading →

8/1/20

Dear diary T minus 4 hours and counting till my final exam for finance!!! I'm absolutely bricking it and in about 5 hours time I will know if I have to resit the whole module or not! Today is not going to be a good day for me! I'm already panicking and sweating profusely, the... Continue Reading →

Help

Written in response to #Daily Addictions How can I do this, I just cannot seeEverythings getting right on top of meLittle things bother me all of the timePlease take away all of this pain of mine!

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