Dear diary.

Two years ago today I was sat in a hospital room watching the last of my Lee’s life slip away, knowing there wasnt a thing I could do to prevent it. No matter how much I cried, prayed, pleaded. There wasnt a thing that could save him.

I look back and try to see the signs that were missed, the ones that showed he was ill and he was suffering but he hid them so well. No one knew his heart would give out so early in his youth, how could we. He was forty three years old, no one expects a man of his age to die of a massive heart attack. He was young, fit enough and relatively healthy, no outward signs at all.

Later summer 2017
4 days before he died

He was a happy go lucky guy. He drank and he smoked, he enjoyed his food but he was a fit guy, he cycled and walked, he was always on the go. There was no reason God should choose to take him, but he did and I can never forgive that.

Two years ago today, my life fell apart and all the dreams I had dreamed for the future were washed away in the space of twenty four hours. I dont think I’ve ever recovered from that and I’m not sure I ever will.

The next few days are going to be tough.


2 thoughts on “10/11/19

Add yours

  1. Oh Lill. I am so sorry. I knew he had died, but no mire than that. How absolutely awful. Yes, you are goung to have a bad time over the next few dats. I’m here. I care. I am sending love, and prayers if prayers are ok.,,he sounds a great guy Lill. How awful that he went so young. What a terrible shock it must have been for you. I an sending you all the hugs in the world, but that can never make up for yoyr loss. I just hope it comforts you a little bit ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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