Just holding it together.

Written in response to #Wotd, #YDWP, #FOWC, #Daily Addictions.

Today the voices are loud in my mind again. All the questions being asked in cacophony together, never easing up and I fear a return to the old days when my head ruled my life and near tore me apart.
I know the mechanisms now tho, I’m not a prisoner to it any more, just an unwilling passenger awaiting the best moment to get off the bus; waiting for it all to slow down just a little.
I know the voices are just my thoughts and fears manifesting themselves but it doesn’t make it any easier, the demons still want to play with me and I have to hold on to the last shreds of my sanity whilst I ride the wave, hoping for a lifeline in the meantime.
Why doesn’t life come with an instruction manual? It certainly needs to, that’s for sure. How are any of us supposed to navigate the various curve balls that get thrown our way on an almost daily basis, I’d love to know.
You would think that in the eternity that has been mankind’s existence so far, someone would have jotted down a few hundred basic do’s and don’ts or one or two ‘what if’s’ and disseminated it to the rest of us.
I know we have the various religious texts that are supposed to fit the bill but they’re all written in riddle and parable and tale, no straight answers to anything. I need an idiots guide to life, a dummies manual to all the decisions and how to make them. Its a travesty that’s for sure.
I wish I had the answers, I’d write it myself, maybe then I wouldn’t be doomed to repeat the same mistakes year after year, never getting anywhere.

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