5/10/19

Dear diary.

The weekends been as big a wash out as the weather’s been!

Bear has spent all friday and Saturday night out at friends leaving me sat by myself for two nights straight and this evenings going to be much the same I think. Bears youngest is coming for tea today and the kids and I always love that but it means I’ll be on my own again whilst he takes him home afterwards. Bear never does anything quickly and so hes likely to be at least a few hours chatting and stuff.

It’s not that I resent him having friends, not at all. What bothers me is when he says he will be popping somewhere and he’ll be back for a specific time then shows up hours later like nothings wrong. He knows I have a paranoia issue and that my mind plays tricks on me constantly yet he is always mushrooming me. I dont know why he does it? He is always so careful with his words except when telling me where hes going and when he will be back, it insults my intelligence and really irks me.

My mood is circling the drain this morning and I feel like I want to go back to bed and cry myself to sleep.

Yay for depression and EUPD

Xxxx