30/9/19

Dear Diary.

What is it with sleep in this house?

Ive just got myself sorted and now the lads are both having issues. BB3 cant get to sleep and Bear cant stay awake! Its crackers.

In fairness they both have been having issues for a while but they have never been a problem until recently. Baby bear has suspected ADHD and so finds it really hard to switch off on a night. Last night he was awake still when I went to bed at half past nine; its not good for an eight year old, some nights he can make midnight!

Bear had an appointment with the ENT people yesterday and what we thought was just polyps and a post nasal drip has now been upgraded to probable sleep apnea and a malformed nasal passage. He has to have a sleep study and possibly surgery to reshape his internal nose structures and Im terrified at the thought of him having an operation.

I feel really selfish that Ive been whinging about my meds making me sleepy for ages when both my best boys are suffering just as much as I am, I just dididn’t see it; blinded by my own issues.

I wonder what our house would be like if everyone was able to get a full nights sleep and wake up feeling refreshed? Would we even recognise each other; its been so long.

xxxx