21/9/19.

Dear Diary.

I hate medication. I hate the effects they have on me. And I hate the effect its having on everyone else too. Im really fed up now.

As from tomorrow Im taking the damed things as late as possible, I don’t care if I become an insomniac; I am never falling asleep at six o’clock again, its just not right.

I managed to make it through dinner but fell asleep right after as Bear was washing the pots. I felt so bad when I woke up that Id left him to do it all and put the kids to bed but I just cant stay awake once this sleepiness kicks in. I don’t understand it.

Ive been sat in the kitchen watching the sun rise for the last half hour contemplating all kinds of things but mostly how I hate all the alone time Im having on these meds. On the ballance of things the medication itself is amazing; it does the job 100% but the side effects may well drive me insane.

I just want to scream! And sleep at appropriate times!

xxxx