10/9/19

Dear Diary

I’m staring at the keyboard and I honestly don’t know what to write; my head is so full of stuff but I don’t know where to start with processing it all.

I’m not sleeping well again with constant waking up and bad dreams. I don’t know if its the medication or what but I’m exhausted all of the time and cant help nodding off every time I sit down; its a vicious cycle and its killing me.

I was in bed by eight last night again which is really killing my relationship off one sleep at a time. I never see Bear anymore as I’m either in bed or asleep in my chair. I can’t wait for the medication review so I can ask them to sort out the mess they’ve put me in.

Bear doesn’t like my blogging and thinks I don’t want him around and I think this is all stemming from the lack of communication we have had of late. Its hard to talk when the kids are up and by the time I get them off to bed I’m usually asleep myself soon after. I’m sure he thinks I’m doing it on purpose to avoid him; I’m sure he thinks I don’t love him anymore. I wish he could see himself through my eyes; just for a minute. Then he would see he has nothing to worry about, Id marry him in a heart beat.

Today is going to be a really long day filled with cleaning, school runs and my friend Sam, shes popping in for a cuppa at some point this morning too.

Busy day; best get on with it really.

xxxx

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