8/9/19.

Dear Diary.

How do normal parents cope with the demands their older children place on them because I struggle with my eldest two like you wouldnt believe. Currently neither of the eldest two bears are speaking to me, and both for almost identical reasons. Their boyfriends!

Its fair to say that I do not get along with either of the boyf’s my girls have landed themselves with and this has caused some major issues for us as a family unit. To the point now where we don’t speak to each other. The crux of it is that I refuse to have anything to do with these lads and so the girls refuse to have anything to do with me in return.

Its a crazy argument that shouldn’t have even been allowed to start as I feel we all have the right to choose who we do and don’t have in our company. I would never force either of my girls to be around someone they hated or made them ill in any way yet I am expected to do this for them or I am branded an utter cu&t by it all.

All the fighting ive done over the past year to reign in my mental health and get help for it all was done in part for my older girls benefit too. I wanted to be as stable as possible for the arrival of MB1 & MB2, but as it stands my stability means nothing, my hard work means nothing, because I only have half my children and no grandchildren. The girls refuse to let me see the mini bears too.

Its unfair.

Should I give in to their demands even though I know they are putting my mental health in danger or should I stand my ground and refuse to be bullied into something I know is very likey to make me ill again; I don’t know anymore!

All I do know is that I miss my family more than anything else in the world and this is killing me.

xxxx

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