Max and Keef were skulking in the shadow, scoping out the security.
They’d had wind of a rare first edition coming into the local book shop, reportedly worth a nice five figure sum, and couldn’t resist the opportunity on offer. They doubted security would be up to much as word hadn’t officially got out of the book’s existence and they were right. The shop was old and the security almost non-existent. No shutters, no alarms, secluded rear entranceway and no late-night shops anywhere around. This really was the perfect job.
They had watched the shop owner dutifully lock the shop. Noting the absence of any visible alarm system buoyed their mood and even Max, normally doubting everything Keef came up with, was confident they could pull this job off without a hitch.
“What time we off in then Max?” Asked Keef hopefully. He wanted to get in there and get the job over with, but Max was holding back.
“We should wait a few hours, he may have forgotten something and come back. Let’s go sit in the car.”
“I really don’t think he’s coming back Max, we should get it over with before we get seen.” Said Keef defensively.
Max looked at Keef for what seemed like ages before finally saying. “You’re probably right ya know Keef, grab the kit then and let’s get around the back.”
The pair returned to the car to collect their tool kit and slowly made their way to the rear of the property. They couldn’t believe their luck when they saw the open window on the first floor; between them they could get to that and find a way in.
Max looked at Keef and Keef looked back at Max.
“Boost?” Said Keef.
“Yeah.” Said Max, “It’s the only way were getting inside cos I aint lifting you up!”
“Couldn’t lift me up ya mean, don’t ya?” retorted Keef snidely.
“Oh shut up, before ya start. We all know you’re the tall, strong one; least I have the brains!” Max snapped before Keef had a chance to speak.
Keef slunk off to the edge of the building directly under the window and gestured for max to climb up him. A manoeuvre the pair had completed on many occasions, starting back in primary school; climbing over walls to get their ball back.
Max was up and inside without any real struggle, Keef flinging him up like he was tossing a caber. Keef could hear Max scramble over something as the noise faded into silence.
Keef waited, and waited, and waited. Five minutes, then ten minutes passed, Keef started to get really worried. It had never taken Max this long to find his way to the door before, even if he couldn’t find keys. He had to find a way to get in there himself and find out what was going on.
The only way up was via a drainpipe and Keef knew this was a dangerous manoeuvre. His weight could easily drag the pipe from the wall causing all kinds of noise but at this point he saw little choice. He gingerly hauled his giant frame tentatively, one bracket at a time. All the time listening for the tell-tale sound that meant imminent disaster. It never came and as Keef grabbed the windowsill and relative safety, he thanked whichever God was listening whilst simultaneously dragging himself inside with a thud.
As Keef regained his bearings he saw Max sat on a chair not ten feet away, he was still and silent and this puzzled Keef briefly, until he saw movement from in front of him. About six feet in front of Max sat the biggest pair of Rottweilers you have ever seen, and they were snarling softly.
“Max!” whispered Keef, as the snarling intensified.
“Don’t move Keef! If you move, they move!” whispered Max back.
“What we gunna do Max? How We gunna get out of here?”
“I don’t have a clue you idiot!” Hissed Max angrily, “Don’t you think I’ve been trying to figure that out? This was supposed to be an easy job but as usual you have to f**k it up by forgetting vital info, like the big pair of dogs!!” Max was livid but managed to keep his tone quiet.
“We could take ‘em on Max! Hit ‘em with what ya got in ya hand? Asked Keef.
“This bloody book! I can’t hit ‘em with thousands of pounds worth of book, what if it got ruined!”
“FFS Max, it’s a book! These dogs are gunna chew us to pieces and you’re worried about a book!”
“This isn’t no ordinary book Keef, this is sublimity in written form. This book is a masterpiece!” Said Max
“Just looks like a dusty leather, old book to me Max, whys it so special?” Asked Keef
“I haven’t got time to illustrate to you the fineries of the written word right now, we need to come up with a plan, these pups are getting antsy.”
“I can make it to the window from here mate.” Replied Keef. “But what you gunna do?”
“If you can make it out, go knock on the rear door; they may fall for that, its their job to guard!” Said Max.
“You think that’ll work?” asked Keef surprised at the idea of leaving his best friend behind.
“If it works were home free, if not I expect you to come up with something, cos currently were fu**ed!”
Keef didn’t reply, stumped by his accomplice’s newfound faith in him. He gathered his thoughts, made a quick check of the distance he had to run and how he had to jump so he didn’t break his neck. It had been a fair few years since Keef had done any parkour but tonight his old talents would attempt a revival. Either that or the both would end up in hospital and likely prison.
Keef took a few steadying breaths and the dogs sensed the growing tension. Ears pricked, they knew something was about to happen but Keef bolted with such speed neither reacted fast enough to reach him before he was out the window and in a heap on the ground below. He had managed to leap and roll successfully, even if he had had the wind knocked out of him a little. This wasn’t turning out to be the easy job they had hoped after all.
Just as keef was about to get up he heard a scream worthy of a horror movie soundtrack and Max flew out of the window like a flying squirrel right into Keefs arms, knocking the wind out of them both. The dog’s barks rang shrill in the night as the pair hobbled back to the car and sped away.
“Not the easy job we thought after all, eh Max!”
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