V = VALUE. LillBlu’s A to Z challenge.. 22/7/19
Never underestimate the value of those in your life, for whatever reason they are there; for when they are gone, the world is a very empty place.
As the track of my mental health progresses I have isolated myself from people in order to protect them and myself from the fallout of my head explosions. This has left me with very few that are close. I have my Bears and I have my Bear but beyond this I have let relationships slip away, lost touch with almost everyone I used to know.
Twenty years ago I was the life and soul of the party; everyone came to mine for the good times when the drink would flow and the nights became days when no one slept, we just danced and talked and drank. I miss the hubbub of it all.
Ten years ago I was newly married and life ran around me looking after four Bears and carrying another in my belly. Life was busy and active and most of all, full.
Now I sit in my kitchen, alone, for hours and hours or I do housework with the radio on to break the silence of it all; the hopeless monotony. Just two bears remain but they are at school most of the time and take little entertaining nowadays; i feel more like their maid than their mum.
The school holidays are here though and the loneliness is broken for the next six weeks by the never ending nagging being a momma bear brings; but i wouldn’t have it any other way. For the next six weeks I get to re-learn the value of company, even if the conversation is slightly stilted.
For the next six weeks I’m not alone.
Oh yes we do need to value the people and relationships we have. A couple of good friends is all we need. But times change. There is a season for drinking and dancing and there is a season of home and peace. Balance is important
Having said that : being Alone and being Lonely are two different things Lee. I love people but I love myself as much or more. Love yourself. Love God and you shall never ever be Home Alone 💕😊
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