Keef had chosen tonight specifically as there was no moon. The road to the tiny shop was pitch black as they drove the box van down the lane; quite a distance with no lights on. “Its four in the morning Max, we’re in the middle of nowhere and this shop has no-one living within a mile of the place; so why can’t we have lights?”
“Better to be safe than sorry you idiot; what if someone sees us heading in this direction. It’s not like you got the least conspicuous van you could find is it?” Keef had to concede the fact that the van he had got for the occasion was anything other than inconspicuous; but it was all that was available.
His Dad had dropped it off earlier in the day and to Keef’s dismay both side panels had huge decals of cute animals all over it. Certainly not the kind of thing that’s easy to hide and Max had flipped his lid when he saw it too. Not a great start to Keef’s first scheme as leader and he so wanted to prove himself to Max.
“You’ll see when we get there Max, this place is deserted. Said Keef. “The house that goes with the shop is empty and waiting tenants and there isn’t another soul for at least a mile. That cash machine is ours for the taking.”
“I bloody well hope so Keef ‘cos if this goes wrong, I’m holding you responsible.” Said Max grumpily.
“It’s a damned jolly holiday with you Max; you’re such a bundle of fun today!” Said Keef buoyantly in a vain attempt to lighten the mood.
Max replied, “I’ll be happy when we’re back home and this is all done with. I have a bad feeling about this Keef, and you know I’m rarely wrong.”
You’d do a terrible job trying to inspire anyone with that attitude Max, come on buddy, we will be in and out in minutes; you’ll see!” Said Keef as they pulled up at the front of the shop. Max positioned the van so that they could easily open the tail lift and drop their new toy, a mini digger, directly in front of the exposed cash point. The pair donned a pair of ski masks and hopped out of the truck.
“You are sure that no-one lives in there aren’t you Keef?” Whispered Max hopefully. “I don’t want to go to prison for one of your mistakes mate!”
Keef was getting mad at Maxs constant doubting but was determined not to lose his cool so he walked away to the back of the van and started to feel around for the catch. The lane was incredibly dark and the lack of moon made opening and operating the tail lift harder than it should have been. They fumbled for a good few minutes before Max lost his cool.
“For God Sake!” Snapped Max, “I can’t work like this!” He grumped as he fumbled around in his pocket for his phone. “I’m using a torch; I don’t care if I’m seen at this point. This is ridiculous!” With Max holding the torch Keef was able to get the tail lift open in a matter of seconds and he was up and into the van before Max had chance to lower the tail lift.
“Lanky streak of p*s!” Muttered Max as he waited for the lift to come down to a level he could get on, he hated being short and hated even more that it gave Keef an advantage over him. “I heard that, short are!” Keef replied, chuckling away to himself. He knew how much it bothered Max that he wasn’t as tall as him and he loved to take every opportunity to rub it in his face. “Ya mum shoulda stood you in some manure when you were little, maybe you’d have grown a bit more!”
“Shut up will ya and get that thing started, I want to get out of here as soon as possible.” said Max.
Keef rubbed his giant hands together and pulled the key out of his pocket. “Hey, hey, hey! Let the wild rumpus start!” He said with a glint in his eye as he carefully folded his giant frame into the mini digger and started the engine. It was like watching an adult ride in a kiddi car; all knees poking out and Max couldn’t help but burst into laughter.
“what do you look like, you absolute idiot! You can’t drive that; you don’t even fit.” Max was almost crying with laughter, “Get out, I’ll have to do it.” Said Max shaking his head.
Keef didn’t want to have to concede to Max but he knew he wouldn’t be able to drive the digger, he could barely move inside the cage, in fact he couldn’t move AT ALL… “Oh Sh*t Max, I’m stuck! I’m not even kidding, I’m seriously stuck!”
“What day mean you’re stuck? You can’t be stuck!” Stammered Max in a panic. Keef just sat there, chuckling away to himself, he couldn’t believe of all the things that could go wrong he was stuck in a mini digger roll cage on the back of a tail lift truck, miles from anywhere. “You have to get out of it, now!” Max strode over to the digger and grabbed Keefs arm.
“what ya doing, get off me, Ill get out on my own; just give me a minute!” Said Keef, his chuckling ended as his ire started rising. “I’m not an idiot!”
Just then a light came on at the front of the shop and they both froze. “I thought you said no-one lived here!?” Screeched Max at Keef, “We’re off, stay still!”
Max bolted out of the back of the van and raised the tail lift as fast as he could. He was in the van and driving away as whoever was residing in the property opened the front door. Max wasn’t waiting around to find out who it was as he screamed through the connecting hatch.
“NOT AN IDIOT EH KEEF! COULDA FOOLED ME!”
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