F = FATHER.

F = FATHER. . LillBlu’s A to Z challenge 6/7/19

For the first thirteen years of my life I grew up believing my father to be a man called Dave. Mum had introduced me to him a few times when I was small, I remember him being a vague presence but never one I had an attachment too; I simply didn’t know him well enough.

Dave was a very bad, career criminal. From the stories told to me by mum and others, Dave generally spent six months in prison and six months out. Car theft was his thing and by all accounts he was terrible at it as he always got caught; B wing became his second home. I was the result of one of his stints on the outside, as where most of his children; and there are many of us, if stories are to be believed.

I didn’t really get the chance to know Dave very well. I met him for the first time when I were a teen but due to his extra-curricular activities he was gone from my life again by the end of the year. I met up with him again when I were fifteen and things had changed for him. He had become sick with COPD and had decided to settle down and over the next few years he had my 2 youngest brothers with his new partner and everyone was really pleased.

I lived down in the Midlands at that time and couldn’t come home to visit too often but always made a point to visit dad and see how things were going and how his health was. Our relationship was developing as the years went on and I had had my own children that I was keen to share and involve him in as my children’s Grandad.

I was bringing my second home to visit family for the first time when I received the news that dad had passed away. I found out in a supermarket doorway, told to me by dads partner. Not one single member of my family thought to contact me and tell me dad had died or let me know when the funeral was. I missed it all and never did get chance to say goodbye to the man I was raised to believe was my daddy.

I had only a few years of sporadic contact to get to know the man but in those years I had grown to love the rogue he was. The cheeky, cockney car thief with the shock of bright red hair that always managed to get me into some kind of trouble but always managed to make me smile too. He was a shocking father to me when I were young but I loved him all the same.

I miss my daddy.

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