I miss the old Me.

Fervent. Daily word prompt 20/5/19

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Adjective: Fervent

Having or displaying a passionate intensity

“a fervent supporter of the cause”

Once upon a time I fought for what I thought was right. First on the lines of a march or protest, always ready to stand for the rights of the ‘little man.’ I was never afraid to pick a side, never afraid to be proven wrong or have my errors pointed out. I would stand, with conviction; steadfastly, fervently.

What has changed?

Why do I shy away and hide from the things I would have once marched headlong into?

Why am I now so afraid all the time?

I miss the side of myself that held the fervent nature I once had. I long for the days when my carefree attitude and self confidence shone through most of the time and I could fight for what I believed in. I long to be able to argue my corner without dissolving into a gibbering mess or withdrawing so far into myself I can no longer climb out.

My once fervent nature has been tempered by time and loss, disillusionment, fear and apathy; to name but a few.

I miss fervent.

I miss Me.

#BPD

#depression

#daily-prompt

#daily-word-prompt

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/05/20/your-daily-word-prompt-fervent-may-20-2019/