And the panic sets in!

It’s occurred to me this evening that I have absolutely no idea how to be a single parent or how to be single.

I have been a parent for almost 21 years. 4 kids with 3 different dad’s but never once was I raising them alone.

I’m one of those questionable people who rarely end one relationship without something else lined up. Don’t get me wrong, im not a cheat or some kinda ho. Iv just always been sure of the next before iv ended anything.

With the exception of ending my marriage and the few weeks that followed when I had my breakdown before falling for my Lee, I have never been single and never been alone with the kids.

I have zero experience being a housewife and mother. I have never been either! I have been a student mum and I have been a working mum with a stay at home partner, but not this!

I have no social life, no family and no close friends. My whole life has been based around work, kids bedtimes and evenings with my partner.

Now the funeral’s over no one seems to pop bye or message that often, even baby bear has gone back to her usual routine of going out all evening and half the night. From 7:30pm when the littlies go to bed I’m alone, with the exception of the cat and he just sleeps.

I wonder how other single parents cope with the loneliness and the monotony of it all. I’m hoping it won’t be as bad once I get back to work. I may not get any better social life but at least I will be busy with housework after the kids go to bed, hopefully too tired to need a social life.

The next few months scare the c÷*p out of me. I have to put Christmas together somehow over the next week and then lill miss’s birthday in January and iv got to do this alone and grieving with no support network and no bloody idea what I’m doing.

Anyone know of a manual for this, I damned sure need one!

#ineedamiracle

#howtobeaparent

#whatnow

#iwantmylifeback

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